Mr. Plow

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

Life on the Fast Lane

Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.

• Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
• Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk.

Homer Alone

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he's holding a gun. D'oh. Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention!

Cape Feare

Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

1. Me fail English? That's unpossible.
2. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.